


Happy Birthday, Cap

by yourrain



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Possibly AU, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sorry Not Sorry, Umm good luck figuring out the timeline?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-15
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-12-20 05:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/883729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrain/pseuds/yourrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's had it pretty rough lately. Between a bad break up with Tony and feeling the other Avenger's value him little more than dirt, his confidence and willingness to stay their leader dwindles. Add the sudden appearance of Loki in his favorite diner one night and there's bound to be trouble. Even more so when he learns what the trickster's after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from my FF account

For all their talents you'd think that the Avengers were unstoppable, able to diffuse even the worse of situations with relative ease. This is mostly true. But it could be agreed that there was one obstacle that even they couldn't hurdle so easily but it drove them like nothing else could; emotions. It's a gift and a curse. Presently, it seems the universe was in the mood to be a bit cruel and thus five of six Avengers were gathered around.

It was a peaceful day. Amazingly so considering how just yesterday-or early this morning, depending upon one's preference for time-there had been a mass attack on Stark Tower. Tony would be fuming, if he had the energy to.

"JARVIS"

"Right away, sir." The AI ringed out and shortly afterwards, the fifth pot of coffee made its way around the (former) table. It was Clint who finally broke the silence. "I figured you'd be a little more upset about this, Stark." He muttered before pushing back in his chair as a rafter fell through the remnants of the roof.

"Yes, Anthony," Thor boomed as he raised a pot that had become his standard mug, evoking a subtle eye roll from Tony. Honestly, couldn't he talk like a normal person? "It might be many days before all has been repaired and even for one with such wealth as you, it seems it would be quite costly."

Tony shrugged and moved on to raid the fridge. He poked through the now door-less freezer for Eggo's with one hand and waved the other dismissively. "Eh, I'll just ask the 'Fury Godmother' to patch things up."

"Really?" Natasha asked in a clipped tone. A perfectly arched brow rising.

"He owes me some favors. And if that doesn't work, you can persuade him for me." He would later lament the loss of one of his sideburns by means of a jam smeared butter knife. Natasha took a bite out of her toast.

Tony, not having become the awesomeness that he is without being a little persistent quipped back that she lives here too.

She gave a slight shrug. "I have other places." She slides off the counter and heads for the doorway. "Pepper pays me well, and not just because she likes my ass." Which she pokes out slightly before pulling an "evil-she-ninja-move", as Tony liked to call them, and disappearing.

"Well everyone has their day jobs." He emerged victorious and dropped four near freezer burned waffles into the toaster. "Well, I guess I'll just have to ask the Cap to do it."

"Speaking of which, where is Steve?" Bruce finally chimed in. "He's usually here before all of us." He flipped through the paper.

"Well, he took quite a beating, he's probably resting." Clint stated simply.

"Yes but, he's been acting strange lately." As someone so hyper aware of his own feelings, Bruce had somehow acquired the ability to read others' just as well.

"What do you mean? Do you believe him ill?" Thor frowns slightly, at both that possibility and his empty mug/pot.

Bruce contemplated for a brief moment as he flipped another page. "Yes and no. I believe the best way to put it would be 'heartsick'."

"Are you most certain, doctor? While I'm aware the Captain is thought of as naïve due to his mannerisms, he is no maiden."

"No, he's not. But he's a sweet guy, just barely grown up and too fast." Bruce paused, as if he had just had an epiphany. "JARVIS, what is today?"

"It is the thirtieth of June, Doctor Banner."

"Ah, so that's it."

"Care to fill in the peanut gallery, doc? Did some famous battle go on today or something?" Clint stole a waffle and dunked it in his coffee.

"No. And I thought you'd know your battles a bit better. Although you seem to have no trouble remembering Budapest." He teased lightly.

"Never talk about Budapest, doc." He deadpanned.

Bruce chuckled and pulled off his glasses to clean them. "Does no one keep track of birthdays around here?"

"This was the day the fair Captain was born? No wonder he hasn't shown himself today. He must be offended that there is no celebration in place for him."

Bruce chuckled once more before taking on a more sober tone. "I doubt that, it takes quite a bit to get him upset." Lucky him. "No, no. I mean he must be feeling…strange." He finally settles on that word. "This is his first birthday since being unfrozen. And everyone he cares about is long gone, I bet. He must be feeling pretty lonely, out of place. He's technically ninety three going on ninety four."

"That's very old in Midgardian years, is it not?" Thor always felt saddened by the short lifespans of humans. He'd lived through their meager years many a time and could even revive if he so chose whiles these poor people, they only had one opportunity. He thought of Jane and suddenly the urge to refill his pot was gone and there was a bitter taste in his mouth.

Bruce nodded. "Usually at this age, we've completely settled down, think back on our lives and all the sweet things we can remember. Spend time with family members and start preparing for the end." Not that that was likely for any of them, was it?

"He barely even got to have his beginning." Clint noted. "All he's ever been up until now was a weapon." Not to say they all hadn't to an extent, but thinking of Steve, it seemed all the sadder. "That's no life." Not that he'd been handed things on a silver platter himself, but he had Natasha and that was more than enough for him. "And maybe his being single is a part of it." His eyes slid over to Tony, acquisition evident, before drifting back to the safety of his lap. There was silence once more and Tony was feeling beyond awkward.

Tony isn't a touchy-feely kind of guy. He is a man of science. He doesn't do real relationships save for Pepper and Rhodey. It was a simple fact. Everyone knew that. So when he'd overheard Coulson grumbling ever so slightly about how Steve had mentioned how impressive Iron Man was and "Maybe I misjudged him" in regards to that stunt he pulled in the battle against Loki, he'd smirked and decided to try his luck. He enjoys competition now and again. Nothing but good, clean, fun is all. And being himself, he knew it would work out. He already had his standard, foolproof plan. Little gifts here and there. An invitation to some social event. Allowing Steve (insert name here) to take a peak in his lab and marvel at his cars.

Child's play, really. Tony applauded himself. He was like a snake charmer. And charm he did. Part of the fun of pursuit was seeing people make fools of themselves. Losing their heads and acting like giddy schoolgirls. It was hilarious. It really was, until it became endearing. Ugh, Tony can already feel a lame flashback coming on.

Steve was different from the normal targets. (Clichés aside, he is male and not a reporter and/or working for some rival company, and that's his real hair color, too.) Steve would blush ever so slightly whenever Tony entered a room. He'd try to sit close but not too close to Tony. He'd seek advice from everyone they jointly knew. He bought some nice jeans and got highlights. He even learned how to text. All of these were seen as pleasant changes by Tony. But there was one thing that if even JARVIS had told him it was coming-which he did at exactly 1:16:49 AM on the third of last month after they'd engaged in their first snogging-, he wouldn't have believed it.

Steve had smiled sweetly and said "What a great anniversary this has been." He looked down to fish in his pocket while Tony tried his best to keep from cracking up. At which point JARVIS discreetly informed him that these outings had been going on for exactly one year, sir and had it occurred to him the implications of such an outing notably a gala opening followed by a luxurious dinner and now stopping for gelato in a quiet little park while the moon sprakles brighter than one of those Twilight vampires that all the young ladies were on about lately? Or that he hadn't bought home many guests over the past few months? (Which causes Tony to remember that whoa, it's been two, three weeks since he got laid.)

"Sir, you have yet to clarify your relationship with Master Rogers. While this behavior is normal and socially acceptable today, he was raised in a different era and thus has different expectations, May I suggest-"

But that all became background noise as he thought back to the curvy tailors' daughter and how by the end, he'd gotten fitted for more than just his suit. Or the cute chef that had excelled when filling his "special order" and made sure his steak was a perfect medium rare to boot. Or even—

"Happy Anniversary, Tony. I hope you like it." And in front of him, there was a tiny scrapbook with a heart frame on the cover and a picture of them slid into it. Along with some nice cuff-links. (Someone really ought to teach him about gift-giving.) "I…I love you." The words were soft and sweeter than the most expensive dessert money could buy. And they hit Tony harder than Hulk could smash through a wall.

"Um, wow. This…This is…" It was one of those rare times that words wouldn't come as he flipped through the pages. Many pictures, stubs and teensy knick knacks greeted him. Everything was so detailed; he must have spent quite a while on it.

When there was no real response, Steve began to apologize. "I guess I should have known you weren't that into this sort of thing." His eyes faced downwards and he rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I just wasn't sure what I could get you that you couldn't get yourself and well, there's nothing and—" And then Steve felt lukewarm, unchapped lips and the little tickle of hairs and the scent of lush cologne. He flushed and returned the gesture shyly. He'd learned a lot about kissing today and was finally getting accustomed to having his space invaded.

"You could've told me to stop talking." He panted slightly.

"Then stop talking." And their lips meet again.

One of them finally realizes that they're back at the tower and they start to part.

"This was fun." Tony slides out of his coat and tugs away the tie. He stretches and cracks a bone or two. "Ah, that feels good." He declares and pushes the door open. "Well, I'll see you later. Night." He gives a singular wave and makes for an elevator, fully intent on changing and tinkering with his laptop for a bit when he felt a tug on his wrist, hesitant but firm. When he turned, he saw the look. The one Steve only had when he was dead set on something, that thing usually being an enemy which left Tony wondering if he needed to make a dive for his suit.

"There was one other thing I wanted to give you." He cleared his throat and straightens up, looking full of resolve. Uh oh, time for a morale boosting speech. "Tony," He began. "You know how much things like trust, fidelity, and commitment mean to me."

'I do?' Tony thinks but merely nods. "Yes, yes, you're practically a saint, dear."

"Which is why I believe marriage is such an important thing. But even though you're not the type to commit to something like that, I trust you. I mean, if we're really being honest, you've been with a lot of people. A lot."

'Is this your polite way of calling me a manwhore? If so, then you're real slow on the uptake there, liberty bells.' Tony was astonished with how his filter had improved. "It's a fact that no one can resist a philanthropist-playboy-billionaire-extraordinaire combo, yes." He nods and strokes his beard like he's a psychiatrist observing a patient.

"But even so, you've still stayed with me this long. And you've never tried to rush me. I feel safe with you, Tony and I haven't felt like that in a long time. I guess what I'm saying is that, I'm ready."

Now being the genius he was, Tony had an idea or two, but even he couldn't read minds (it's a work in progress, rest assured) and not wanting to possibly get chewed out for having his mind in the gutter by Pepper, he feigned cluelessness. "Ready for what exactly?"

Steve's nerves finally caught up. "Ya know. That. 'Go all the way', if that's the right phrase…"

"You mean sex?" Tony even had the nerve to act appalled by the idea.

"Of course that's what I mean. " He worries his pouty lower lip.

"Calm down, stripes, I just didn't want to take things out of context." He was about to decline for he knew what could happen when you fool with a coworker (see BLACK WIDOW), when he decided to have a bit of fun. He deserved it after spending hours rotting away internally from looking at paint splatters made by people who had to die to even get any recognition and not a one near his own level of success, thank you. "Well, I'd be honored but I need to hear you say it just so we're clear." This ought to be good.

"I want to give you my virginity." Was what Steve tried to say although it really sounded like blabbering from someone who had misplaced their dentures and lost their voice at the same time. But one thing got Tony's attention; virginity. Even more than cars, and coffee and pizza, and even sarcasm-okay, maybe not sarcasm, but it's a close second- Tony loves virgins. In his mind, it's similar to hardware. Now, while there was nothing wrong with repurposing (i.e. Afghanastan), especially if it's a nice piece, there's nothing like getting something that's shiny and new. Getting to mold it into exactly what he desired. Oh, just the thought sent tingles to everywhere from his fingertips to groin. He had to slip his hands into his pockets to avoid from groping right away.

"Well then, let's begin."

Tony was able to quiet the hormones enough to not shred the suit that he'd bought Steve but enough remained to where his hands were coming up with creative ways to bother the sensitive skin resulting in his mind and mouth both being filled with nothing but "wait's and "stop's and "ooohhh"s and "T-that's dirty!" and something uniquely Steve.

"Although I usually like to jump right into it, I'll give you a chance to 'boot up'." Oh yeah, only he can work technology into the bedroom without sounding totally desperate. And only a moment later was Steve on the verge and Tony had to withdraw his fingers. Hmm, so all that glorious stamina hadn't quite carried over to the bedroom. "Now to remove the bloat ware." This was followed by a semi-strangled cry from Steve and a flurry of thrusts courtesy of Tony until things became more pliable. "And now the fun starts. I'll show you, there's nothing like good programming." Five positions later (all of which had never occurred to Steve) and Steve couldn't help but agree. He wanted Tony to 'upload his data' all night long, but even super soldiers have their limits and Tony decided that the recycling bin had been emptied enough since there was nothing left to empty. Time to shut down.

Steve awoke first to the smell of food and then more when he felt the dull throbbing from below. But he ignored it when he saw a perfectly rationed brunch of chilled honeydew melon, pan-fried sausages, fried tomatoes in cream gravy, cornmeal muffins, coffee, and milk. Seeing as how last night's dinner had been a bit smaller than what was needed to feed a body like Steve's, he made quick work of it. He was just about to finish sopping gravy up with his muffin when he saw Tony come in, dressed to impress. He stopped to preen in the mirror before He noticed Steve in its reflection. "Mornin'."

"Good morning, Tony." To call his voice anything less than affectionate would be a flat out lie. "I see you're in a hurry right now, but later I was thinking that we could—"

"Let me stop you right there, big guy." Tony cut in. After near constant counseling (read: harassment) from JARVIS since he'd awoken, Tony had decided that just maybe Steve could have gotten a bit confused and now he had to set the record straight.

"Look, Cap, I don't know how exactly it got into your head that we're going "going steady", is it? But I thought you should know that I'm not one to stick with something too long. I know what you're thinking, "how flighty!-or whatever the hell type words you use-. But truthfully, it's just good business skills. I never give things time to become outdated, that's how you have to play the game." He attended to a few stray hairs and adjusted his tie one final time before smiling and wiggling his eyebrows at himself. He turned and started to walk backwards out the room. "But hey, no hard feelings, right?" He pointed both his pointer fingers like guns and clicked his tongue.

All Steve could do was nod slowly.

"Ah, that's my man. See ya, Stripes!"

And he disappeared, all guilt erased and not a care in the world until he noticed how JARVIS had not said one word to him all day.

"JARVIS?"

"Sir."

"What's with that?"

"…"

"JARVIS!"

"The other Avengers are all awaiting your arrival, sir. Miss Romanov appears to be particularly upset with you," And he quickly amends with "More so than usual."

Sure enough, everyone sans Steve was waiting near the door.

"You're in trouble." Bruce mouthed from behind his coffee cup and headed out. The Hulk didn't need to see any more violence than he had to.

Clint merely shook his head. "That was a dick move, even for you." He got up. "I think Coulson wanted me." And thus he performed an "evil-bird-ninja" move and was gone.

"I do not understand how you could betray the Captain so." You could call Thor many things that he would willingly own up to, but cheater was not one of them. "And you dare call my brother the trickster? Hmph! Charlatan!" The disappointed look he gave could have put many mothers to shame. And Tony could swear that he felt a few sparks between them, and not the good kind.

"I believe you mean a 'Charmander'!" He called behind him. Well. There went all the witnesses.

"And then there were two." He attempted to lighten the mood and went to search for leftover pizza. When he shut the door, she was right here. Arms crossed and fingers drumming.

"What? C'mon mom, you didn't even get a call from the principal today and I even got some nice grades on my report card." Said principal being Pepper who Tony swore paid Natasha extra to harass him when she couldn't.

"No. But I have a right mind to punish you anyway. What were you thinking last night? Or better yet, all these months?"

Ah, so that's what this was all about. "Look, I don't really see how this is your business." He holds two pieces in his mouth and two in hand while the other hand worked to open a cupboard and pull down a plate. He tossed it in.

"JARVIS."

"Right away, sir." Even JARVIS sounded snippy. The traitor. (Insert Portal/Terminator/Matrix/any movie with Will Smith reference here. Hmm, he could go for a movie. Maybe later. What's Pepper doing tonight?)

"Since when have you and the Cap been BFFs? And I don't recall anyone ever giving a damn who I sleep with before."

"I for one have always found your sexcadapes disgusting." She slapped Tony's hand away as he went for the microwave door. "And we may not be that close, but he is my teammate and I trust him like I do Clint. So when he came to my room nearly crying this morning with no idea what to do, of course I should care. I didn't even know what to do for him." Turning on the DVD player so he can watch the Wizard of Oz and shovel down apple pie for three hours isn't exactly conducive in her book.

Honestly, he couldn't imagine Steve acting like that. As girly as he was in Tony's own humble opinion, he still had his pride and never showed any emotions besides happiness or those that came paired with his "battle mode" persona. "So I've caught the great Black Widow off guard? I must have a damn good web." Not his best comeback. He'd have to practice more banter with the Natasha simulator he and JARVIS had cooked up.

"Oh, not even close. I knew this was coming long ago."

"Then why didn't you try and prevent it then instead of coming up here acting all high and mighty now? I don't need this from you of all people." Really, couldn't a guy have a snack without being cross-examined? And that damn beeping was going to drive him crazy. Yes, he is aware that his food is ready.

"Because I had hoped you would change."

"Change? Like you and Clint? I'm not a bad guy with a guilty conscience (anymore), I'm the good guy. Where would we be without my technology?"

"With one less war on our hands?"

"What were you expecting to happen? That we would run off and get married then go riding into the sunset on his 'deathbike'?" Tony doesn't trust that thing.

"I don't know!" She finally bellowed. "I was hoping. I mean him, Pepper, god knows who else. I thought maybe you'd finally cut this frat boy crap and grow up. You know what? This was an absolute waste of time. I don't care what you do but if Captain America's performance suffers Fury will pin you up by the balls and I'll do worse if you pull this bull again." She was right on him, practically boring holes through him.

"So patriotic." He pulled her back into the conversation. No way was he losing this argument.

"Hardly. It's Steve that I care about. You just couldn't have left him alone, could you?" God, she made him sound like some fatty that couldn't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. Tony couldn't help humming the melody. He needs to go to ITunes and see if they have any new songs out. Gym Class Heroes was about as far as he would deviate from his beloved rock music. Oh wait, Natasha is still talking. And she's always on his case for not knowing when to shut his mouth. Double standard much?

"-He has practically nothing left in this world. That was all he had left that mattered."

"You make it sound like I raped him!" Like his reputation needed anymore tarnishing.

"That's not what I'm talking about." She poked him harshly in the arc reactor. "I don't know if you've forgotten, but there's this thing called a heart. It's what keeps us humans going. It's very strong but at the same time, it doesn't think. It's innocent. Good. When it gets hurt like that, bitterness and pain spread like a virus and unlike you, most of us can't just replace it on a whim."

"Not wanting to die is whimsical?"

"For a genius, you sure are stupid."

"Are we done talking?"

"Yes, we are. And we will be until you fix this." Ninja poof.

"Is that a threat or a promise? Jesus." He sighed and reached behind him to pull out the plate. "GAH!" He cried out and dropped the plate to shake his hand rapidly. "JARVIS, what were you trying to heat? We're not synthesizing elements here." The cold water would not turn on.

"JARVIS, stop dicking around, this hurts!"

"I apologize. I was in the process of shutting down." The water became cold as liquid nitrogen and hurt even more. Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration but it still hurt!

"Why?" He said as he shook his poor hand.

"I've been listening to Master Rogers all day and can honestly say I know every line of the Wizard of Oz by heart; I was questioned by Miss Romanov very intensively might I add; and Thor broke another toilet. I've reached my limit."

"JARVIS, you can't be fatigued. It's impossible. And you don't feel either so I don't know why you're giving me the cold shoulder."

"Sir, if I felt, I think I would be feeling rather sympathetic. And quite disappointed in how you handled that situation. I've prepared your scotch and downloaded those files you requested. I wish you a pleasant evening. I'll inform you of your schedule in the morning."

Tony sighed and tended to his hand. He nibbled on the pizza only to find it was almost cold, hard and the sauce had all but evaporated. He left it and just stood there. He didn't see anyone else but Bruce for a few days.

"So have I become S.H.I.E.L.D enemy number one yet?"

"I think you've always been there on Fury's list and now I'm certain you are in Coulson's mind; you're just disregarded when there are bigger fish to fry."

"Well, I hope someone chooses to come to Earth for a fishing trip soon." Believe it or not, if he didn't feel like enough people were concerned with his goings on, a great chunk of his ego would fall through the floor. But this was getting to be pretty old.

"The world is homeostatic; things will eventually work themselves out." He scribbled something and swirled a test tube. "Or you could do something about it, if you wanted to."

"Not likely."

Thank god that was over. Tony hated revisiting the past unless it involved food or women.

"Good morning, Steve." He heard Bruce say.

"Good morning, Doctor Banner. Thor."

"Captain." Thor nodded.

"Tony." Steve added and went for cereal.

"Well, well, well. 'O Captain! my captain!' we were wondering if you'd gone AWOL on us."

"I'd never abandon my team." The words were icy, resolved. He paused for a moment and Tony noticed his eyes change slightly but it went quicker than it came. He returns the bowl and cereal. "I think I'll go out instead." He says to no one in particular, sounding a bit dazed. This was odd but becoming more frequent, since the days after he'd gotten dumped.

"Oh no, every time since you've started saying that, we can't find you for a few days at least."

"Tony does have a point. Last time we could've really used you but no one could find you." Bruce said.

"I may be old, but I'm not senile yet, I'll be fine guys. Bye."

"Perhaps he's adjusting still? I thought you wanted him to 'get out more'." Said Thor. "And does he not seem most cheerful after these outings?"

"He's very cheerful." Tony wheels around." So cheerful that it makes a clown look depressed. I want to know where he goes." He hits the table repeatedly.

"Tony, that's a big invasion of privacy. And I thought you said you didn't want to know anyone else's business if it didn't affect you."

"I've got to stop saying things around you people." He plopped down at the table. "Now don't tell me you people aren't the slightest bit curious where he goes?"

"I prefer grey matter to gossip."

"I admit, it is most intriguing, but it is best to leave men to their own devices."

"Fine. I'll just go see myself. JARVIS, start tracking him."

"As you wish, sir."

"Where are you going?"

Tony fell out of his chair. "For f**k's sake, woman! Stop that!"

Natasha merely shrugged. "I think you do enough damage around here when left unattended. If you go, I go."

"So now you're a nanny too? I don't recall that on your resume."

"I doubt you even looked at my resume. Are we going or not?"

"Are you going to try and pick out my clothes now?"

Much cajoling and whining on Tony's part later, he was in one car with Bruce, Natasha and Clint in another and Thor, well, presumably flying to the location.

"May I ask a question?"

"Do you expect an answer?"

"I'll ask anyway. Think of it as food for thought. Why do you care so much about what Steve does?"

"I'll dignify that with an answer." He says and slows as he spots the brown leather jacket. He pulls into a near parking garage and prays that nothing happens to "Scarlett".

("Scarlett?"

"Yes, Scarlett. Y'know, after Scarlett Johansson? God, that woman is beautiful."

Bruce chuckles. "If you say so, Tony. She kind of looks like-"

"Please don't ruin this for me, Doc.")

Dressed down (i.e. clothing not of European origin) and with sunglasses perched upon his nose, Tony hoped-for once in his life- that no one would notice him. "Now where are you going?" He muses aloud as he watches Steve flow and ebb within the crowd.

"I believe he has gone into that Dairy Queen." It was one of the older ones in design.

"Dairy Queen." Tony said, dissatisfaction coloring his voice.

"Well, they were founded in the forties." Bruce shrugs.

"I don't care." Begin sulking now. "Let's go."

"Well, I'm in the mood for a burger."

"Isn't it too early for lunch?"

"This coming from the man who will eat pizza for breakfast?"

"It encompasses all of the food groups in one convenient slice! But I guess a burger would be good." Even if it's not Burger King.

So they went inside and were soon seated with a heap of burgers and fries.

"I told you he wasn't up to anything." Natasha said from their booth behind them. Clint was too busy slurping his milkshake to taunt.

"Well, it is good to know that the Captain is well. Besides, this food is delicious. I would take my meals here as well." Thor had gone through several burgers and soft serve cones already. "I'll have the cook prepare more." He stood up.

"Make sure you give them the right kind of currency this time, big guy."

"But they seemed most pleased with my coins before."

"Because gold and platinum are very precious here. I'll go with you just to be sure."

After shelling out another hundred dollars, Thor happily agreed to carry the tray for Tony. He was recounting something as usual when he bumped an unmoving Tony with the tray. "Anthony?" He followed Tony's gaze. His grip on the tray slackened.

"BROTHER!" He thundered


	2. Outings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Loki. Destruction of property. Tony gives none. Thor might slap someone. Everyone just goes with it.

This caused most everyone in the restaurant to jump, including the other Avengers. Outside seated at a cute little table at the edge of the patio was Loki, who immediately looked up and blanched. Steve, whose back was facing the window, tilted his head. Loki immediately stood and gestured for Steve to move. He looked up and slowly turned his head only for his jaw to partially drop. Loki grabbed his wrist and they made a break for it.

"Brother!" Thor slammed the tray on the nearest table and started to power walk out.

"Oh no." Bruce could already feel the headache coming on.

"Well then." Said Clint mostly to himself as Natasha seemed a bit shocked herself. Might as well not those burgers go to waste. He picked them up and sat with Bruce. "Eat up. We probably aren't going to get another chance anytime soon." Bruce went and grabbed the abandoned jacket and returned. "Pass the ketchup."

Avengers~

Meanwhile, a chase scene reminiscent of an old cartoon was going on. Loki pulled them into a mall, Thor hot on their trail. "Go that way! Go that way!" He half shouted and pushed Steve out of the way in time to avoid being tackled. Fortunately for them, he hit one of Loki's trademark replicas instead and ended up crashing through the glass railing and into a fountain. Steve gasped from their spot on the next floor up as his clone dissolves. "Oh, God! That was awful! Loki, what if he's hurt?"

"That buffoon? Trust me; a mere fall won't do much of anything but give us enough time to escape. Or do some shopping if you wish."

"We don't need to shop. You've already spoiled me enough." He gestured at his outfit that was no longer covered by the jacket. All new, all brand name, and all very expensive. He looked like a model.

"You need a bit of spoiling. Besides you look darling." He put a hand on Steve's back and guided him along. "We should think about trimming your hair again."

"Do you really like it this way?" His eyes were uncertain.

"I love it any way, darling." Loki rubbed little circles in the others' back to reassure him "But you seem more confident with it this way. And it's less conspicuous." He himself had gotten a cut, or illusioned himself to make it look that way at any rate. Steve didn't know. Nor did he have time to think about it as Loki was swept away in a flurry of red and gold followed by the sound of more glass breaking as they went through the glass roof. Fury was going to have fun replacing that. Or rather fix one his only hard eye on Tony as the other wrote the check and issued an apology if the last few times were to be repeated.

Everyone was too distracted to notice Thor coming up behind Steve. "Captain!" Steve turned just in time to receive what was either a very manly slap or a good left hook because it was enough to make him stumble a bit. "You knew the location of my brother and you did not think once to tell me!?" Steve blocked the next advance. "Thor, calm down! We can't do this here!"

"You're right." Comes an artificial hum along with screams of "Look, it's Iron Man!"

Tony had a wincing Loki in a chokehold under one arm. "Fury's waiting for us." He tossed him to Thor's feet. "You take care of that." He said in a rare serious tone. "Spangles is coming with me." He looked down to see Steve giving Loki an apologetic look and a quick hand squeeze. "Now." He got an almost glare before Steve slowly stood up. "Good boy." Tony said as he wrapped one arm around Steve and propelled from the floor, leaving small craters in his wake.

Avengers~

They stopped on top of a nearby building and he could see Coulson looking up at them. He held up one hand. Good, five minutes is all that's needed.

"I thought we were going to see Fury."

"We are. After you tell me what that was down there. "

"It's none of your business what I do."

"As a matter of fact, it is my business if one of my teammates decides to go have teatime with some royal sociopath who tried to kill us all a few months ago." He looked Steve up and down. No signs that he was being controlled (or that he caught the pun) but he had JARVIS run a scan anyway.

"There appear to be trace amounts of a unique energy signature," He refrained from using "magic", Tony hated that word. "These ,however, are different than what was observed from Mister Barton."

"I'm not under any kind of spell." Steve declared, guessing that that's what Tony was thinking.

"That's exactly what someone under a spell would say."

"Just give it a rest, will you? You need to get to fixing that mall."

"While you do what exactly? Go back to plotting the world's end in innocent little fast food joints? I don't think so. Sorry, Cap. But I'm not taking any orders from you right now."

"Like you take them to begin with?" Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just take me to Fury, would you?"

"Sure, after you tell me what's going on?"

Steve turned to give him an "Are you serious?" type of look. "What do you think?"

"I think you're actually acting like a normal person by being a little rude and it's freaking me out. Since when does Uncle Sam sass?"

"I don't sass. I sock. And I'll sock you if I have to hear one more word."

"Gentleman, I do believe your five minutes are up." Fury. In a chopper no less.

"We're going to the far out place?"

"We don't have the funds to rebuild half of New York if you, Thor and Loki decide to have a grudge match. Get in."

It was awful, having all these eyes on him. Steve didn't enjoy being on the opposite side of the glass at all. After having a "talk" with pretty much everyone from the team, he was growing tired of this. At least Clint and Bruce had been helpful. Everyone else was nothing shy of hostile, there having to be an actual barrier and guards when he talked with Thor. Even Coulson seemed riled. Finally, he was let out of that room but was put right into another. It was nice, but he could practically feel all the cameras.

"You'll be staying here until further notice. You're welcome to the gym and the mess hall. All other areas are prohibited unless approved by myself."

Steve sighed. "I feel like a criminal."

"Did you do something wrong?"

"I'm beginning to wonder. I guess that depends on what you define as 'wrong'."

"Well, your possibly being in cahoots with an enemy isn't something I wanted to hear." He admitted. "That door's the bathroom. Your clothes are already here."

Steve frowned ever so slightly at the thought of being watched while he showered.

"I believe that a few of the cameras in the bathroom aren't functioning properly." Steve smiled. Who said Fury couldn't be nice? Tony, probably, he thought as he looked around and noticed his sketchbook. He decided to draw for a bit.

As it turns out, a bit is quite a few hours and a light doze later. He looked again and it was already after midnight. He stretches and notices the butterfly he'd been sketching was long gone. He was a bit disappointed, but he'd already completed that part of the image. He thought of how pretty it would look in charcoal as he peeled his clothes off and went to the bathroom. He sits idly on the toilet as he waits for the tub to fill. There's nothing like a good bath.

He sinks in and allows his muscles to relax. He sighs softly. After a few minutes he thinks of how he should get out now or else he might accidentally drown himself. What a way to go after all he'd lived through. He opens him eyes and has to stifle a scream as he notices Loki is there, leant up against the wall, watching him intensely.

"Geez, Loki. You scared me." He slid down and let out a long, shaky breath.

"My apologies, darling." Although, he didn't really sound sorry. "You have no idea how alluring you are when you expose yourself that way."

"And I don't wanna know." He says and actually washes up. "Could you turn on the heat lamp, please?" Hopefully one, Loki would actually turn around so he could get out of the tub and two, the room would warm. Steve was always cold nowadays it seemed.

"Certainly." The red light immediately comes to life.

Of course he would. Alright, Plan B. Steve opts to turn his body so that he was facing the inside wall and reaches for his towel. Instead he felt cool breath and soft lips brush his knuckles, causing him to blush. "You know you can tell me anything. Don't you? I should hope you know by now that you can tell me if you need some time by yourself and know that I won't be offended."

Steve took on a baby pink hue and nodded an "Mm hmm."

"I hope so." And he was gone, but not far as Steve could catch a glimpse of him on the couch by the fireplace.

Steve dries off and wraps the towel around his waist until

he retrieves a pair of flannel pajamas and boxers. Then he joins Loki. "So…"

"Have you considered my proposition?"

Steve folded his arms across his chest and fidgeted. "I have."

"You don't seem very sure of yourself." Loki noted with a slight frown.

"Well, I mean, it's just that…" He looked away, already feeling shameful. "I don't know if I can, yet."

Loki regarded him silently before spitting out "Perhaps you just do not want to pass an eternity looking at my face?"

"That's not what I said!" He snapped back.

"But it's what you were thinking."

"If that's what you think, then you don't know anything about me." He glared back before moving off the couch to the veranda. Not again. Didn't they just have this fight?

"Oh, you weren't?" He appeared right next to Steve. "Then look me in the eye and tell me what you 'think'!" He was shaking with rage now. Honestly, Steve was just like Thor and more recently, Tony, in that aspect, able to anger him off with minimal effort and extremely quickly.

"I think that I'm afraid!" Steve swallowed hard as he felt the lump begin to form in his throat and the small sting in his eyes.

Loki gave him a blank expression. He hadn't expected that answer.

"Don't you know how hard this is for me?" He shouted, suddenly turning on Loki. "This goes against everything that I was ever taught as a kid. And Lord knows what Fury will have to say about this. I don't know how to be in love, Loki! I never had a chance to be." There was a slight hysteria in his voice. "Everyone I love leaves or even worse dies! How do I know you won't leave, too?" He bowed his head, finally allowing the tears to roll down. "Of course eternity is a long time, but for me, so is one more day in a place that I don't belong." He's silent for a time and Loki thinks he's finished. "I thought you would understand what it's like… to find yourself in a place that you used to call home and then realize that it's not anymore." He sounded bitter and far off. He runs out of gas and his chest rattled with effort as he restrained the sobbing. He was not going to have a breakdown today.

Loki sighs and kneels down to touch Steve. "I…My intent wasn't to come here and upset you."

Steve brushes the hand off. "I'm sure it wasn't." He said, once again stony faced. Sometimes even Loki couldn't help but wonder how he could pull together so quickly. "I'm tired. Can you please leave now?"

Loki's mouth opened as if he was about to say something before closing. When Steve finally looked up, he was gone. He hauls himself to his feet only to throw himself upon the bed seconds later.

He was thankful for his bed. Beds never judged him. Beds are always there when he needs them. Beds don't expect anything in return for the warmth and comfort they offer. Maybe he just ought to stay in bed.

And he does and eventually his thoughts wander off and he thinks of just how he got himself into this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's you first chapter. Hope it was okay and with better formatting. Sorry if Loki seems OOC. Or anybody for that matter. And the random Avengers thing is meant to be like on of those "Meanwhile at the Bat Cave type things" with a do-do-do-do sound effect. Yes, I'm lame. Well, hope you liked this chapter.


	3. The Precariousness of Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve centered. Feelings. Pie. Everyone is fat. Loki will possibly cause the destruction of the planet Earth. Poor pilgrims.

When they weren't trying to save the world from an untimely demise, Steve couldn't help but feel a bit awkward around his teammates. No one was outright vicious but their morale had taken a dip for sure, Steve's most of all. Along with a good sized portion of his self-esteem. He seemed to be the only one who enjoyed teamwork. He tried his best to run drills and make plans and motivate but no one seemed intent on listening and he ended up being walked all over as a result. Clint and Natasha were in particularly foul moods and poked holes in everything he said. Bruce was too low on energy to break it up and Tony didn't care. Thor was about a light-year away.

"I don't understand why you always feel the need to toss me and 'Tasha into the heart of bullshit. Why don't you and the 'Tenacious Tin man' and PMS personified give it a try once in a while?"

"Are you talking about yourself? Because you sure are acting like you're bleeding out from somewhere." Bruce noted coolly. Really, hadn't they had enough of the other guy for today?

"There's only one woman on this team."

Tony comes to Bruce's aid. "We know. But sometimes I wonder why you two don't just swap parts between the legs, it would be much more fitting." Well, Natasha was arguably the manliest one next to Thor.

Steve immediately ducked out. He did not want to be in the midst of that.

"See what the hell kind of leader is that?" He could hear from behind. I think you're confusing leading with being a pussy!" Wow, Clint was really mad if he didn't even try to sneak some of his usual finesse in. But he was right. He doesn't know how to lead these guys. Not like he had his men.

"JARVIS?" He called tentatively. Although he'd reacted to JARVIS better than anyone had expected-they thought he'd think him a ghost and run screaming out of Stark Tower-he was still a little shy about calling on him for anything, especially since he had two good legs himself.

"Good evening, Captain Rogers."

"Can you please tell me where the nearest diner is? Preferably one that makes homemade pie."

"Certainly. I may relay the directions orally or if you would kindly take a look at your mobile, I may direct you from there, whichever you would prefer. "

"Phone it is." He was in the mood for using his brain as little as possible. Plus, he needed to practice with it more. Contrary to popular belief, Steve was no worse with technology than the average person once he'd learned the basics. He was a fast learner when it came to anything tactile and could devise little tips and tricks for most anything. He was a pro with everything from a microwave to a computer within three months. But sometimes he wonders if his skills are really so special anymore. Anything he did, someone could do better and faster, it seemed.

"If you make a right here sir, your destination will be on your immediate left."

"Thanks." He tucked the phone away long enough to see it was empty and the woman was on the verge of closing up.

She eyed him warily. (It is NYC and almost ten he decides. Which was still late to him no matter what the others believed). She looked ready to go even though they still had half an hour left. She comes over and says "We're closed, sweetheart."

Steve could barely suppress a sigh. Deciding not to give up just yet he says "I'll take whatever you have left. I don't need anything fresh." He'd eaten some pretty horrible things in his time and knew better than to be picky.

She let out a breathy laugh and he could tell she used to smoke. "All right, come in." She locks the door after him and turns the sign. "Young men these days. Really it's two thousand twelve, someone ought to teach you boys how to make a decent meal for yourselves." She shakes her head. "Besides, it's a Sunday night; shouldn't you be at your ma's?"

He swallowed thickly at that but put on a solemn expression. "My mother passed away long ago, ma'am."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." And she really did sound like she was. She goes to yell to the cook and starts to clean.

Steve felt weird and guilty just sitting around while she cleaned. "Would you like some help?"

She looked at him quizzically before shrugging and pointing at the storage room. He found the cleaning supplies and got to work. He had gotten through his half in about half an hour; wiped, swept, mopped, and cleared.

"Oh my, we'll aren't you just the little worker bee." She praised as she sat down to fan herself. She'd only gotten through about ten tables. Steve quickly took over and before he knew it, he'd gone through the entire dining area, including the decorative fixtures and jukebox that he had become enamored with immediately. He was fully intent on the bathroom when Marge pulled him aside. "Stevie, you do anymore work I'll have to pay you. Go wash your hands and come sit down."

He sat in a booth with her before the cook, and incidentally her husband, arrived with heaping piles of comfort food. "You look like a guy that can eat." Was his response to Steve's curious gaze. He had to admit he was starving and still bummed from earlier. Plus, he couldn't remember the last time he got food like this; probably because he didn't because things were always too expensive when he was young. That and that there was no such thing as "cooking" in the tower. All that "turns" really meant was that you got to pick out and pick up the takeout if delivery was unavailable or tell JARVIS to defrost and heat some prepackaged something.

Many helpings of vegetables and meats and biscuits and soups and four kinds of pie later, he was full and feeling a bit better about himself. Food was to him as alcohol was to Tony he mused as he swirled around what remained of his coffee and glanced at his watch. Wow. He never went out this long. Must be his "goody goody two shoes" personality as Tony called it. He sighed happily before reaching for his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Oh," She moved her hand in a dismissive gesture.

"I insist."

"And I insist, young man, and you never argue with a lady." She winks, making her blue eye shadow crease. She prepared him a to-go box along with three whole pies.

He smiled. "Thank you very much, Mrs. Marge. I truly appreciate that."

"Oh, Stevie." She pinched a cheek. "I swear they just don't make them like you anymore. You're welcome here anytime. Right, Bob?" Bob nods.

No one was there to greet him when he got home. He decided to have another piece (that just happens to turn into the whole pie); it wouldn't be here tomorrow after all. He never got to see who took the others; he was too bust try to burn off the copious amount of calories he'd ingested.

Soon it was becoming Steve's turn more and more often. He was something of a part timer there. Turns out he was a fantastic waiter, polite and handsome and helpful. Between that and his little improvements such as a larger menu and a few updated fixtures (as much as it pained him to remove the memorabilia, it helped business and he made sure they got a good home in his room (he and the jukebox got along especially well)), there was plenty of profit. He felt it was the least he could do considering that he always ended up carting out at least several hundred dollars' worth of food, drinks and pie and usually not having enough to feed Thor-who was showing up more often nowadays now that he thought about it-and the others.

He was watching the shop for the Lees' as they had gone on a cruise for their fiftieth anniversary which Steve found incredibly sweet. He might not be a hopeless romantic, but he could be quite the sap. He couldn't believe they trusted him so much after only a month. Steve was finishing busting the tables for the night and packing food for the team, until he heard the bell chime happily. Funny, he was sure he'd locked that. He couldn't see them from where he was. "Hello! I'm sorry but the cook has already gone home and I can hardly work the oven myself." He laughed at his half-truth-half-joke. He was learning, though. "There is pie though!"

"Yes, the Midgardian pastry that my brother has become so fond of lately. You know that he never lets me have any. And I thought we were becoming friends again." Loki pouted in an exaggerated way. "Even Stark was more hospitable to me. Isn't that sad?" He folds himself into the booth gracefully.

Steve's shoulders had tensed immediately at the sound of that voice and the moment Loki paused he'd made a mad dash and while fully intent on breaking his jaw was not actually expecting to hit him but instead a clone. But hearing Loki crash through the booth and have a table overturned on him had its advantages too.

He seized Loki by the collar. "What the hell are you doing here, Loki!?" He even dared to raise his voice to a scream to show just how serious he was.

"I believe we established that I'm here for pie." When Steve didn't waver even the tiniest bit he rolls his eyes. "Absolutely no humour, Captain. How dull you are."

Steve wondered if that was one of those "double entendre" things Natasha had taught him about. "I've been told. And now if you'll kindly tell me how you got here? Or you can discuss that with Director Fury."

"Always work with you, isn't it? Obviously, I enjoy this realm and it makes a nice retreat for when I've had enough of my 'family'."

"You're supposed to be on lockdown."

"Well that's what Odin wanted but mother dearest and my fool of a brother thought that too harsh and instead I'm on more of a –what is it you humans call it? A 'time out'?-so while not so free to do as I please, I'm far from a prisoner. Though I am feeling rather abused mentally,"

"I dare you to say that to Hawkeye." He took Loki in. He looked paler, if possible, and much thinner. He could make out bruises and scars from underneath the plain clothing, like something Steve would've seen on a farm hand back in his day. "Why the sudden modesty? Are suits no longer 'in vogue'?" He wrinkled his nose a little at how weird that sounded with his accent.

"I've been stripped of my primary magic, dear Captain."

"So how did you get here?"

"I said my primary magic. Of course I would have more."

Steve seemed puzzled. Loki made a dramatic scoffing noise. "What do you Midgardians do with the food you cannot yet consume?" He answers his own question. "I store it for times of need."

"You sure are telling me an awful lot." His polite way of saying he believes Loki to be lying through his teeth. He wishes he had his suit, without it he could barely summon an ounce of aggression or his suave interrogation skills. Maybe that's why Tony thinks him a hypocrite at times, he needs his suit too, he realizes.

Loki seemed a bit off put by that. "So even the most trusting of the Avengers does not trust me."

"Well, in the defense of the others, you've done something or another to make their lives miserable and honestly, they won't be satisfied until your head is on a stake."

"And in defense of yourself?"

"I don't need one. There's a lot I don't trust." He says nonchalantly. It was true sadly. "Besides, you're not worth the effort of worrying over." He had too full a plate already, any more stress and he might seriously lose it.

Loki seemed to deflate as if he'd been hurt by that statement. Honestly, what was with this guy? There was a pregnant pause.

"I can still do things, but not like before. And I don't have the right type of 'magic' to get a suit."

"And that type would be?"

"Money as it's so called."

The idea of a broke Loki was odd to him. "A prince without money?"

"Money, magic, and now I've been cursed with this thing called mortality." Steve's jaw slackened at that. "You're not a god anymore?"

Loki grew terse at that. "Fool, I'm still a god! Just to a…lesser extent. More like that of an offspring of a human and a demigod."

"So if Thor and Jane had a kid." He stated simply. Whatever. He'd just have to swallow that too, like every other weird thing in this new world. Really, what happened to believing in one god?

"Yes except much cleverer and more powerful. With any luck it will take after the mother."

"So what can you do?"

"I can't summon an army, Captain, if that's what's worrying you. Just potions and small tasks such as healing. Maybe I could make a duplicate. Transport a few metres."

"Mind control?"

"Hypnosis. And they have to be willing if they have high intelligence. "

"So can you be hurt?"

Loki sulked slightly. "Didn't Banner gloat over what the beast did?"

"Not likely but even so, I don't care for gossip."

"Well, yes I can. And you're nearly stronger than me now. This position admittedly is making me bruise when I normally wouldn't." Steve removed his knees from Loki's chest and loosened his grip. He was right. "You might even say 'frail'. But I doubt you would understand that."

"Don't be so sure." Loki did look worse for the wear, dull skin and hair and eyes. He looked older, but still handsome in his own right. And having a mouth full of woodchips could make anyone seemingly less attractive.

"Oh?" He left the unsaid question hanging in the air, but Steve ignored it. No time for the tale of poor pre super soldier serum Steve. Instead he tied Loki down with his jacket and came back with a fork and a small sample of each kind of pie and some milk.

"I don't know how you expect me to eat that," His arms were bound to his torso courtesy of Steve's jacket. "Unless you plan on feeding me."

"That's the plan. Aaahh." He opens his mouth as he moves the fork toward Loki who cranes his neck.

"I'm not a child."

"Do you want the pie or don't you?"

"…"

They stare for a few moments. "Suit yourself." He plays this game a lot with Tony. "I'll throw it out." He's up and collecting the plate when he finally hears "…Aaahh."

Turns out that Loki was very fond of the apple which Steve is sure someone would have made a crack at had they been there.

"Apples are what give us our eternal youth and beauty. But they're also what can take it away."

"Snow White?" Steve muttered aloud. Even he knew this picture.

"Who?"

"Nothin', Loki."

"Strange creatures, you are." He went back to his story. "You're aware that mortals cannot eat the sustenance of gods nor faeries and various other beings lest they be trapped in those realms, yes?"

"I am now." Steve says from across the booth. Learn something new every day.

"Well, that works both ways. I had a 'golden' apple from here and now I've been reduced to this state."

"How awful." He said rather dryly. Ok, that was enough time around Tony for him. He'd have to ask Thor how he could eat human food then. Maybe it was just fruits?

"Ok, so now what?"

"I believe you were taking me to Fury. Wasn't that the plan?"

"It still is the plan; you just might not be going so soon."

"How kind of you."

"Not really, I just want to know where it is you've been hiding. "

"Always the ulterior motive with you lot."

"That doesn't mean much comin' from you, I'm afraid." Ok really, no more Tony time.

"Does anything?" He sighs dramatically once more. "Very well, but might I suggest you untie me first? This could be seen as conspicuous."

Steve was surprised by how modest the place was. It's a little motel room surprisingly close to the tower. Not run down, but nowhere near as exuberant as Steve had been expecting. Something Steve might have chosen for himself even.

"What a nice place."

"Don't mock me." Loki actually looked ashamed.

"I'm not. I like it, I really do. Everything today is so much." Steve spreads his arms wider with each word before putting his hands together in a little ball. "This is just right."

They stayed in an awkward silence until Loki suggests they sit. They did. Another silence came. Steve wracked his brain for a good ice breaker… He doesn't like that term.

"Isn't there a guy that can see you from here?" Thor talked about him often.

"Heimdall?"

"I assume so."

"Yes, he can see everything and can even predict what will happen from time to time. He's very loyal."

"Loyal enough to tell on you to Odin?"

"Possibly. If he sees me as a threat. But fear not. I had a discussion with him and he sent me here."

"He helped."

"Yes, on the condition that I stick with our terms."

"Which are?"

"I'll have exactly one month here which will be cut short if I cause any harm to Midgard or attempt to make contact with anyone outside of this realm aside from Heimdall. I can only use a small portion of my magic and I have to live like a commoner for the most part."

"What are you after that you'd be willing to do so much?"

"I'm here to seek someone out. Don't look at me that way! You don't even know what I was going to say." He glowered at Steve who put his hands up defensively. "Yes, well, I'm here to seek out a human partner."

"A partner?" Steve sounded absolutely scandalized. "I might not get every sense of humor but that joke's not funny, Loki. That's serious business."

"Oh, I know it." For the first time since meeting, Steve could honestly say that Loki sounded genuine and even…unsure of himself? Nah, not Loki. He scolds himself mentally. Don't fall for the trickster's tricks.

"Alright so given that what you said is true, why go through all that? I mean, aren't gods famous for just picking up people they like and going?"

"You confuse us with the Greeks. Rather odd bunch, I must say. Terrible temperaments but they know how to luxuriate to say the least."

"Are you guys related?" What a fun family tree.

"No, I'm not. But Odin and Zeus are and that's a rather humourous tale…"

Steve ended up spending the rest of the night and much of the next day with Loki. If nothing else, he was a grand conversationalist and even better storyteller. Steve felt like he could run into a modern day history class and best the teacher. Steve wishes he was like that. Between Bruce and Tony, he felt fool enough.

"….And that was what actually happened to Pompeii."

"I can't believe you guys would do that."

"You can't? Frigg was in tears fordays. She loved that city. Odin was outraged, even when he found out that it wasn't really Thor and I's fault."

Steve shook his head. "I should've known better than to keep asking questions after Roanoke."

"I didn't know you would react so badly to that."

"How am I supposed to feel knowing that 'aliens' are really just some poor colonists that you took to space and turned green?"

"I was trying to adapt them to their new environment, everything has their side effects."

"Stop talking about them like science experiments." He admonishes. "And a rash is a side effect."

"So is death. Be glad that didn't happen."

"I can't be glad for anything until we figure out what to do with you."

"What if you watch me?"

"Me?"

"You're the kindest and most reasonable of the group."

Steve never took compliments well. He was sure Loki was just trying to butter him up. "Thank you." Manners are manners. He looked Loki up and down for what felt the umpteenth time. Loki seemed harmless enough but so do poisonous berries until you eat them. Steve considered it for a long while. He believed Loki, but hey, he'd been wrong before. The Captain side and pre-WWII Steve were screaming no. Post-ice Steve didn't care about anything anymore. Post-Chitauri Steve was boggled by all the knowledge he'd gained. Team-leader Steve wanted what was best for everyone. Finally, there was plain old Steve, the most honest one of them all. That Steve, he realizes, is sad and lonely and hurting and could use some company. For once, that Steve wins.

"Alright, I'll do it."

Loki grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally getting to the meat of the story guys. In my mind Loki is a major diva and drama queen, hence why he's written the way he is. I also believe that Steve would love pie because it's simple and old timey but delicious. So as of now, there's not an official pairing but I'm leaning towards a Steve Loki. I think in the end I might just have multiple endings lol but that's far away. If you have a preference, let me know. Again, feel free to point out any errors or let me know if you got lost. The time line/dialogue makes sense to me but I don't know if I typed it how I mean it to be. Anyways, thanks for reading. See you.


	4. Fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Online dating. Everyone is nosy. Thor worries. "Loki, why are you on my toilet?"

Steve finally makes his way back home by ten the next morning. He's amazed he stayed awake for that long. But it had been nice, fun even. He didn't even realize that he had this odd little grin on his face until he came home to some unhappy faces. Oh yeah, it was his turn. And he'd forgotten the food now that he thinks about it. Crap.

"Forget something last night?" Clint asked casually.

"He must've forgotten the time. That tends to happen with old age. Speaking of which, where exactly were you? Isn't it against your forties mannerisms to be out past like six?"

"I, um, I just got caught up with a few things." He rubbed his neck, something he always did when nervous.

"You know what I think?"

"No." Well he doesn't.

"I think…" Tony pauses dramatically. "That you went out with someone!"

That catches Clint's attention. "Cap's got a girlfriend?"

"Who has a girlfriend?" Natasha asks when she enters.

"What is a girlfriend?" Asks Thor.

"Means he's courting someone, Thor." Bruce replies simply.

"I don't have a girlfriend!" Steve denies.

"So you do! That's fantastic. It's about time you get a life. Now Pepper won't make me set up a Match dot com profile for you."

"Match dot com?"

"Where people make profiles of themselves that are give or take half true with a fake picture and then a fancy machine matches you up. Hence Match dot com."

"That sounds awful."

"Ok I get that honesty is your thing but honestly do you believe if people were one hundred percent honest—"

"That's not it. I mean a machine? What does a machine know about love? Or anything for that matter that doesn't have to do with searching with nets and the television in the computer. No offense, JARVIS."

"None was taken, sir. And I do believe you mean the Internet and Youtube."

"Exactly. How can I even begin know anyone if I don't see their face?"

"Didn't you hear the part about profile pictures?"

"Fake profile pictures." Clint reiterates.

"I don't want fake. I've had enough of fake. Fake is all anyone seems to do in this century!

"Hey, don't take your chronophobia out on us."

"I'm not taking anything out on anyone. I just want to go to my room. Can I go now?"

"Well you're the leader so I take it you do what you want."

For the first time in front of the others he scoffs. "Like that means anything to you." And he starts walking. He quickly notices that they are trailing him.

"Follow the leader." Tony says in a sing-song voice.

"The leader does not want to be followed into the shower. " Steve sighs irritably.

"That's fine." Tony turns to Natasha. "Goodbye, Natasha." He says in a downright cheerful voice.

She gives Tony the evil eye and no one is quite certain what happened next, just that Tony was suddenly face down in the carpet several feet away. "Goodbye, Tony." She says in a sweeter tone than any of them thought she could muster. "Steve, we can talk later." She says. Clint follows her.

And so Steve is left with Thor as it seems Bruce snuck off before. "See you later, Thor." He gives a half-wave before sliding into the elevator.

"Wait, Captain." Thor stops it and pushes his way in. Steve wonders how he knows so much as he closes the door and boosts them to almost Steve's floor before stopping them and cutting off the lights. "I need to have a word with you on a matter most urgent and I want to be certain that the Black Widow will not find us so quickly nor do the reading of the lips." He says in the hushest tones Steve's ever heard from him.

Steve leans in. They're so close now that they're sharing breath. A little more and their lips could touch. That itself isn't very off putting but Steve's not much of a kisser.

"My brother, I cannot find him."

Steve looked a bit more surprised by that than he probably should've. Thor continues. "We did expect him to slip away so we made the necessary precautions. But he was so subtle about it that the guards missed him. And now we cannot trace him through his magic either. Either he has come up with a new way to hide himself or…" Thor gazed up at him. He looked old and pained, like the very thought of anything else could and would destroy him. Given Steve's honest nature he wanted nothing more than to tell Thor about Loki. But at the same time he wanted to know what Loki was going to do. So he did the selfish thing.

"I'm so sorry, Thor. But maybe you shouldn't give up just yet? This is Loki were talking about. I doubt he'd ever take himself out like that. He enjoys the drama too much."

"You really believe him alive?"

"I know he is." And a month from now, you can have him back, thinks Steve to himself.

"Yes, you are right, Captain. He is an Asgardian, after all!"

"Exactly." Steve flashes his favorite fake smile. He hits the button to his floor.

"Thank you, Captain. But if I may ask, what were you doing last night? I was looking forward to the pie." He said wistfully.

"Oh not much, just chatting with some patrons that are new in town."

"Oh, I see. Well, I will have to eat more of the pies when they're brought again. Good Night, Captain." Steve watches him exit with a flourish of his cape. Steve sighed and slinked into his bathroom. He ended up nodding off for a moment and JARVIS woke him up just in time for him to see water spilling off the edge.

Steve merely shook his head and dunked himself into the steaming water. He was about to fall asleep and thought I should get out when he heard something.

He froze up for a moment after peeling open an eye to see Loki put down the toilet seat and lid and set himself gracefully upon it.

" . ?"

"I believe it's called 'sitting'."

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "Loki, why are you on my toilet?"

"Well, you're supposed to be looking after me, no?"

"Yes but-"

Loki chortled. "You said butt."

Steve was at a loss for words. "What?"

"I've been studying Midgardian jargon. Isn't that the anticipated response?"

"Why would you ask me a thing like that?" Steve said suddenly dejected.

Loki furrowed his brow. "You're supposed to laugh. Stop frowning. I don't like it."

Steve cocked an eyebrow and let out a bitter laugh.

Loki gave a glare and Steve yelps as he's scalded by the now boiling water.

"Jesus, Loki!" His body moves on its own and he's standing.

Loki takes this as an opportunity to give him a quick once over. "Well?" He says impatiently.

"'Well' what?"

"Well aren't you going to take me somewhere? That's the host's job."

Steve might've gotten redder if his skin wasn't already burning. "How about I take you to go see Fury?"

"You wouldn't."

"Oh yeah, and what makes you so sure?"

"You need me. Better yet, you want me." He said so assuredly that it causes Steve to falter.

"Yeah, like I want a root canal." He begins to dry off.

"Roots aside, if I leave, then what will you have left?" Loki begins to saunter around the room. "Go back to playing leader, the ever faithful "Capcicle" as likes to say.

Steve bristles, but he doesn't disagree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Long time no see. I'm sorry about how short this is and the less than creative title .-. . I've had major writer's block lately, and finals. Hopefully I'll write more regularily, but since the new term is starting up, I can't be so sure. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed~ 'Til next time ^-^ v


	5. Overflow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/14/13 Right O. So I don't know what to do with this timeline as I have seen Iron Man 3 (wonderful) and now I feel like my plot doesn't wiggle in as well. So I consider it slightly AUish maybe? So sorry about that but I did start writing this last year. Alright, no more babble from me. *run away*

"What is that ridiculous contraption?" Loki says as he scrutinizes Steve's bike.

"This is called a motorcycle." He says as he polishes it. He tosses the rag aside and stretches, making a small groan of relief after a rather loud pop of his back. He gives Loki a look, fully expecting some jab at his age. That's what everyone else does.

He shrugs his shoulders. "I know what a motorcycle is; it seems that the men Harley and Davidson have turned quite the profit. Yours is on the older side, correct? Are you sure it's safe?"

"The God of Mischief is telling me it's dangerous to go biking? Is it April or something?" He shakes his head. "Besides, just because it's old doesn't make it bad, yeah?"

"Indeed." Loki says as his eyes dart down to Steve's backside when he's not looking. He clears his throat. "Well, are we ready?"

"I've been ready; I was waiting on you the whole time." He says as he mounts the bike.

"I'm sure you were." He says as he tries to get on the bike as elegantly as possible.

"Helmet." Steve says as he slides down his visor. The moment it's on he hits the gas and they speed off. He can't help the rush of joy that floods him, the sweet freedom. Riding always did that for him. After going speeds that no one would expect from Captain America, he asks Loki where they're going while stopped at a light.

"I'll go wherever you take me." He says rather softly.

"Really? Well alright then."

And that's how they wind up in Brooklyn, perusing the streets that have changed so much since his time. "I got beat up over there too." He chuckles.

"Where weren't you beat up?"

"Hmm, over that way. I got slapped instead. Bucky convinced me to go raid Marcia Sanders' underwear drawer."

Loki scoffs, but really he's quite enjoying himself, helmet hair aside. "Alright, I'm amused. Now feed me."

"Why yes, your highness. Got a whole feast laid out for you." He says as he pulls over after spotting a promising looking hot dog cart.

Loki takes a moment to primp in front of one of the side mirrors. "Really? Hmm, I haven't gotten to attend one in quite some time—and what is that?" He says accusingly at the overflowing hot dog that Steve offers.

"A feast, dig in." He says and takes a large bite.

Loki gives him the sort of face that makes you think he'd just confessed to a horrible crime.

"Me," He gestures towards himself, "Eat that?" He points for emphasis.

"You don't I will." Steve mutters, he's half way through his own.

"Oh, fine. But later on, you will find me something better." He takes a cautionary bite. Then another. And somehow he gets through it before Steve can take his last bite. Loki clears his throat and pretends not to feel his cheeks reddening at Steve's knowing gaze. "Oh, be quiet."

"Glad you like hot dogs, Loki."

"You fed me dog?"

"Ruff ruff." Steve winks and buys two more.

After a few random stops in hole-in-the-walls (which quickly uncovered the fact that they both have a knack for thrifting), art collections and anything else they found interesting, it was soon nearing midnight.

Loki can't help but admire Steve who is grinning as he crouches down and skips a stone across the pond. "Today was… satisfactory, thank you."

"You're welcome." He stands and his jacket that was tied around his waist slips off. Although he wasn't cold, Loki took it anyway and put it on.

"Hey!" Steve laughs and grabs at it playfully.

"You dare touch me? I suppose I'll just have to keep this then." He scurries away only to be pinned against a tree a moment later.

"Surrender?"

"Never." Loki said with a slight hiss and poked out his tongue. He had a sudden urge and followed through on it, licking Steve's nose.

He smirks, daring Steve to try something. And he does. Loki can't help but feel he made the right choice as Steve sucked Loki's tongue into his mouth and gave him a few gentle kisses. When they pull apart, Steve inevitably flushes and heads for the bike.

"Oh, Captain, my captain, where did that come from?" Loki teases later on as they walk to the door of Loki's apartment.

"I'm not so sure myself. Sorry, I guess I just lost control for a moment, which seems to be happening more and more, lately." He looks down and frowns, thoughts wandering to darker subject matter. But Loki being the glutton for attention that he is quickly regains it by seizing his chin.

"Then maybe you ought to stop trying to control everything and 'go with the flow' as they say."

"But where's this river headed, Loki?" He asks as he leans on the railing, eyes shifting upwards demurely.

Loki muses as he leans on the doorframe. "I'm not so inclined to find out, I'm certain it's better than where we are now."

"I'm afraid of water." He says suddenly.

"You're afraid to drown?"

"I'm not a fan of ice."

"Not all water freezes."

"Not every river flows strongly from beginning to the end. Some end in a trickle."

"This one might let out in the ocean."

"That's a lot of water." Steve whispers.

"You have a life jacket, one month, remember?" He takes Steve's hand and pulls him inside.

~Avengers~

"Still no Capcicle?" Tony asks Clint as he chugs down another coffee.

"Not today." He affirms.

"Well, at least one of us has a social life." Bruce grins and continues on with his traditional morning paper, refusing to use the tablet Tony had given him.

"Does the term "billionaire, playboy, philanthropist" mean nothing to you?"

"Not a thing."

"Why is everyday suddenly becoming "deflate Tony's ego day"?"

Clint laughs. "Do you know how many years that would take?"

"That was low, and weak, especially for you."

"Someone's jealous." Natasha says, towel wrapped around herself, clearly just finishing up with her morning workout. Thor soon follows.

"Jealous?" Tony quirks an eyebrow.

"Yes." She quirks one right back, "Jealous."

"Of whom, may I ask?"

"Whoever's getting a taste of the Capcicle." She tears open a package of fruit snacks with her teeth and empties it into her mouth.

"Hardy-har har. I don't get jealous, I'll have you know."

"Taste? I'd say a great feast is being made of him, he's gone out every evening for a fortnight." Thor's laugh booms. Clint joins in.

"Hey, maybe that serum did more than boost his abs if y'know what I mean." He notes his watch. "I've got a meeting with Coulson." And with that, he was gone.

"Doctor, I've brought back some things you might be interested in looking at."

"Oh, really? Let's have a look then."

And then Tony was alone with Natasha. Ok, maybe he was a teensy bit jealous and an even smaller bit lonely, but hell if he'd spend time with her if he didn't have to. And thus, he ended up in the garage just as Steve was pulling in.

"Well if it isn't the golden boy, what have you been up to all night?"

"Eh, nothing exciting. Bridge, feeding the birds, telling kids to get off the lawn."

"We don't even have a lawn on the ground floor."

"It's a joke, Tony." He claps him on the shoulder and walks away whistling a happy tune.

Alright, so everyone in the tower is having more fun than he is. Pepper's too busy running the company to be bothered. Fury will rip him a new one if he goes gallivanting around the globe for fun, something about promoting a serious image. Alright, something needs to change, now, because no one outshines Tony Stark except for Tony Stark.

"Jarvis, get me Pepper." The dial tone barely gets to run its course.

"Tony, whatever it is, I don't have time for it until at least five but before five twenty—"

"Hold it, hold it. I'm just getting your permission to throw a little get together."

She sighs and rubs her temples. "I'm listening."

"It's all for a good cause." Hey, his mental and emotional well-being is worth the money, plus he could always dedicate it to a charity for something or another.

Not even a few hours later, the press was buzzing with news of what's anticipated to be one of the biggest parties of the year, courtesy of Mr. Anthony Edward Stark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peoples! Long time no see, huh? First off, I am so sorry about that. Bad Via is bad orz. Please forgive and enjoy fluffy date time. Second, hey writer's block is now more like pebbles, so I know where we're going, so hopefully you get more sooner. As always, if anything is wrong, feel free to tell me and if you take the time to comment/follow/favorite, thanks so much, it really makes me happy and motivated to write for you ^ ^. Okay, I am sleepy now so night night!


	6. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magical lakes. Shiny rocks. Loki in Jessica Rabbit's body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not really anything major, I suppose this could be skipped if you wanted. Just giving a little detail about what they've been up to, and give somewhat of a time frame.
> 
> Also Lorelei was a siren.

In. Out. In. Out. Sigh.  
Steve felt a sort of chill. It was more invigorating than anything. There was an absence of voices but plenty of rich sounds, whistling as they zipped by. He could feel them as they aligned with his breath and thumping heart. Then there were prickles and on reflex he shot up.   
He let out a few coughs and tried to reorient himself. He was still being held by Loki in middle of the water. It looked like absolutely no time has passed even though he knew it had to have been days. It appeared as if Loki wasn’t back yet.   
Steve catches his breath. It’s getting harder and harder. He doesn’t want to come back as much as before. The world Loki had made them was perfect. Technically, he’d only traveled there in his mind, in his dreams. But every time had been wonderful. Maybe even whimsical because if he could think it up, Loki would make it happen, instantaneously at times.   
Their cottage looked like something out of a story book on the outside, but in reality was quite lavish; Loki could survive with no less. It was in the middle of nowhere, a little decoration for the lake and flowers that bloomed with a decent forest from which Steve retrieved firewood. In the blink of an eye, however, they would be in the city. That was still a work in progress, as Steve had minor trouble remembering what was where and when. So it was a mish mash of New York in the twenties (Steve enjoyed the party atmosphere believe it or not), forties and modern day. Loki would oft don a pinstripe suit and hat. Once he tossed Steve into a flapper outfit for his own enjoyment, which later resulted in his torment on a whirling machine that had made them both ill.   
Another blink and he could be atop a famous monument; then attending the weddings of the other Avengers; or a favorite, sipping drinks with Bucky and waving shyly at Becky as the alcohol overrides his shyness. A part of him knew none of it could be real. And upon being prompted, Loki gave him a spiel on truth and reality and how flimsy and breakable those were.  
“Some things exist, like those people in the cities. Random souls searching for occupation. But really, everything is real; it just depends on whether or not that matches up with the normal perception of reality.”  
Steve had shaken his head. He realized that Loki actually wasn't logical in the slightest and used ethos like his life depended on it. And slowly, he began to suspend reality more and more. He’d nearly slipped up in a meeting and had to worm his way out of a dual grilling session with Thor and Natasha. They had begun double teaming him more and more after bullying Jarvis into telling them some of the places he went. He avoided being defensive, but his excuse of trying to modernize was stale, and b.s. in Clint’s words.   
“You’re staring.” Loki chides, his expression calm. “That one was the longest yet, you are adjusting very nicely.”   
But should I be? Was the question buzzing around his head.   
Loki was quick to reclaim Steve’s attention. “You know, I haven’t been constructing this world for my own sake.”  
“You that bored?”Steve teased.  
“No, I’m that lonesome.”   
Steve’s grin falters when their eyes meet. “Can’t all be for me.”  
“That’s exactly why it’s here. Building something remotely from another cosmos is no easy task. I seek refuge.” His eyes smolder. “In you.” And then Loki gives Steve the kind of kiss that left him woozier than the roller-coasters. “In turn, I’ll give you this. We can have whatever we want and need, forever.”  
Steve pulled himself upright. “You don’t mess around.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he looked around at everything that was not Loki.  
“I’ll give you time.”  
“We have what? Less than a week before the deal expires?”  
“Twelve days actually.”  
“Twelve days to commit for an eternity?”  
“I thought you were a decisive man. You plunged a ship into the sea for the “greater good. “ He seemed upset somehow. He relocates them to where Steve had left his bike. The night was utterly quiet, fortunately warm even though they weren't wet anymore.   
They didn't talk then aside from a small “Goodnight,” and brush of lips from Steve. And everyone noticed how he didn't go out for a few days. Steve was the one to cave first. But it turns out Loki wasn't particularly upset, and had set to build a bigger, better world. This was a tangible one that he was able to show Steve the location of, nestled among a cluster of stars.  
A mix of guilt and excitement segued them into their first lovemaking.   
A few more days went by and Steve was firmly resolved. He was going to tell everyone about Loki and the proposal. Loki was patient, but not that patient, prodding every few hours. They’d all get their answers soon. Or Steve had thought so.   
Until Loki complained.   
“Aren't we going?”  
“Loki, I've really not interested in any parties right now.”   
Loki frowned and the room was suddenly cooler. “I’d like to attend an event properly before I depart from this world.” He crossed his arms and legs, squaring his shoulders. “I’m going.” He stated a matter of a factly.   
Steve became mildly irritated, wishing Howard had been more of a bookworm; one that only stuck his nose into things.   
“So what will you do, just waltz in there?”  
“Of course not, I’ll be escorted.” Purred a voice reminiscent of Jessica Rabbit’s.   
Steve’s draw dropped at the change that has taken place in a minute.  
Full lips. Even longer hair. A shapely chest with hips to match. All packaged together in a tight emerald and gold ensemble.   
“Loki,” He begins.   
Loki presses up against the door-frame. “For the night, why not call me, Lorelei? And by the way,” He reaches into his cloak and flashes something shiny and round. “I suppose I’ll be the one receiving this tonight. I’ll return it later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. Party next chapter. Good chance a drama bomb will be going off. We'll probably have a few more chapters and we'll be done. *Party hard* Peace out guys.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there. If you managed to make it through all that, good. Thanks for sticking with it even though it was waaaayyyy long. Don't know how I feel about this intro but at least it's a start. I'm sorry if the format or narration very wonky. I'm still trying to figure that out. I tried to adjust with the character so I guess it's omniscient. Sorry if it's OOC. The only thing on purpose would be Tony. In my mind, I feel like he'd go back to acting like himself (like Iron Man 1/2) and also that he has some quirks like those written above. If there are any weird things/grammar errors, let me know. And if you leave a review, that would be awesome too. Until next time


End file.
